


Filia Patris Sui

by MagicalWordSmith



Series: The Everlasting Laugh [1]
Category: Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Alittlefluff, Cameos, F/M, PregnantHarley, Tastefulviolence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 20:00:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7815157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalWordSmith/pseuds/MagicalWordSmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Formerly known as "JXHQ")</p>
<p>*This story takes place a few months after The Joker breaks Harley Quinn out of Belle Reve in SS 2016*</p>
<p>It is a biological need of everything on this earth to procreate. The need to leave a lasting legacy, some eternal footprint. Man's need to be immortal. No one is immune...No one...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. “Panda Man, say something biblical”

He paced back and forth, back and forth. His black tattoos in stark contrast with his pale skin. No shirt, no shoes, just sweatpants. No gaudy jewelry adorned him. Just his jewel encrusted 'J' pinky ring which caught the moonlight each time he turned. Gun in hand. Harley was unusually quiet sitting on the huge California king bed, Indian style, watching him. Barely breathing, she counted his steps. _1,2,3,4 turn and repeat. 1,2,3,4 turn and repeat_. The sound of the door opening had the Joker spinning around, purple metallic gun drawn. He didn't lower it until he saw Frost step through holding up a bag. The words _'Gotham City Drug Co'_ boldly printed on it. Without a word, Harley stood and took the bag from his hand and went directly to the bathroom. Frost didn't speak, just waited for further instructions. When none came, he quietly exited the bedroom. Outside, he relieved the guard he had posted at the door before making the quick discreet run to the drug store. He didn't know what to make of the quiet. Sure the boss and his girl were sinister and that was putting it mildly, but this was a whole new level of intense. He was always fearful for his life being The Joker's left hand man, but tonight he was truly fearful for his soul. Of course he'd never show it. That was among the top five quickest ways to earn spontaneous execution.

Inside the bathroom, sitting on the sink, Harley waited for the test results. She had followed each instruction to the letter, to insure optimal accuracy. She could not afford to be wrong. She surprised herself by how calmly and quietly she was waiting. _Yay! Go me_ , she thought. Even _the voices_ seemed to understand the gravity of the situation and remained quiet during the two-minute wait for the results. When she saw the last two lines, she rubbed her eyes and looked again. She was prone to hallucinations and wished she could ask someone else, someone sane, to verify she wasn’t crazy. In a manner of speaking. _Do or die time_!  With a small chuckle at her pun, she took all six sticks, all six sets of two lines, and exited the bathroom.

 " _Dr. Quinzel_ , how nice of you to make an appearance," As always, his voice implied humor but his eyes, the most strikingly beautiful shade of pale blue she'd ever seen, held his true emotions. Against his bright green hair and red stained lips, the sight was exceptionally...gratifying. In her normal flair, she danced around the bedroom to a tune only she could hear. She figured her Puddin' could go either way so better for her to enjoy these last few moments before she revealed her news. One of her twirls brought her facing the business end of his gun. "Time for the big unveiling _honey_ ". With a fearlessly wide smile, she held up all six positive pregnancy test.

*-*

For a second, he stared unsure of what he was seeing. Scratching his head with the nozzle of the gun, dangerously close to his temple, he snatched 3 of the sticks from her hand. "Oh Puddin' just think of it!  All the fun it will be having a little _villano_ to shape and mold in your image!  All yours to teach all of your jokes and inventions and plans and ide..." She was still talking, bouncing up and down excitedly, but he had stopped listening, if he ever had been. Harley's toothy smile began to falter when he didn't speak for several minutes, just stared at the sticks minutely rocking back and forth, but she continued in her diatribe, determined to make him understand what this meant for him, for them. _I can finally have that normal the witch bitch promised me and I didn't even need her help_!! "Think of it, a little you with blue eyes and dimples learning from the greatest teacher the best way to decapitate and maim!" Spinning and twirling around the room still exclaiming the usefulness of a child, Harley almost missed the slight chuckle that started off The Joker’s signature laugh. Laughter began to roll off him in waves. Soon Harley was giggling along with him. The louder he laughed the louder she giggled. Outside the door Frost's blood got even colder. Laughter for ordinary people, meant joy. That something good, positive, was happening, but for these two, The Joker and Harley Quinn, the clown royalty of Gotham, laughter could mean death destruction and chaos. All he could do was be ready for anything...

Abruptly the laughter stopped. For a while Joker stared at Harley and she brazenly, wantonly stared back at him. "Frost!" He shouted, suddenly breaking the silence. Instantly, the door opened and Frost stepped inside "Yea, boss?" He asked. The staring match between the two continued even as he spoke, "Harley needs a doctor. A... what's the doctor for babies? A gbon? No that's not right...hmm… An obgyn. Bring us one, now" He said finally turning dead eyes and _the smile_ towards Frost. "Yes sir" Jonny answered and exited their bedroom, once again on a discreet mission for the clown prince.

Frost mentally ran down the best way to go about getting an Ob/gyn. For now, the only person who knew what was happening other than him was Ken, his number two. Quickly, Frost texted Ken for him to meet him in his office on the main floor. The mansion was huge, big enough to get lost in. Very few people knew of its location. Most people knew of the abandoned theatre which served as warehouse/headquarters but the mansion, that was home. It had everything and anything one would need to live in luxury. Some people couldn't conceive of the Joker being a wealthy crime lord, only thinking of his history with Batman. What they failed to realize is schemes take money and psychopaths often make the best CEOs. "We need a doctor within the hour" he told Ken without preamble when he reached his office. He knew Ken would be sitting in the chair opposite his desk the moment he opened the door. One thing they had both learned in the years of serving the boss, punctuality could literally be the difference between life and death. "I found two when you went to the drug store. One is lead at an abortion clinic, the other is head obgyn at Gotham Memorial. Which do we need?" Ken asked, as always prepared for every contingency, another on the job hazard. "Hospital. Please tell me it's a woman and the best of the best" Frost asked before even glancing at the print outs Ken had placed on his desk. Even though the boss was real possessive, period, a woman doctor would go over a lot better than a man. "Yes and did you expect anything less?" Ken added trying to lighten the mood a little. It was a running joke (pun intended) between the two. Frost would always say when they needed to find someone 'the best of the best ' and Ken would assure him to 'expect no less'. Years working amidst chaos had forged a comradery between the two.  With his past ties to GCPD, Ken almost always did recon of any person they needed to find or flush out. He had gone through hell to prove he wasn't a rat or spy but once he did he was in with death being the only way out.

 Frost glanced at his watch _2:58am_. Shuffling the papers around he saw that the doctor lived alone and happened to be off tonight. Or on call would be more accurate. _Dr. Pamela Stein, time for work._

*-*

In less than thirty minutes, Frost had the Doctor seated in the back seat of the black limo. She didn’t tremble, didn’t appear to be scared. For a woman who was just kidnapped from her home in the middle of the night _, this chick seems tough as nails_. He hadn’t clued her in on what she was coming into, hadn’t revealed anything, even going so far as to place a bag over her head and binding her hands for the ride. He preferred to let the boss handle the doctor’s briefing. With efficient movements he parked the vehicle and marched her through the front doors of the mansion. Once inside, he removed the bag from the doctor’s head, unbound her hands and handed her, her med bag. The only reaction she gave when she saw the huge painting in the foyer of the Joker in his full glory, was to clench her medical bag even closer. He led her to the “Props” room in the basement. He wasn’t worried about her getting free and knowing how to escape. The halls down here were set up like a funhouse maze. Only someone with intimate knowledge of the mansion could figure out the path to freedom. Ken was waiting for them in the room when they arrived. He placed the doctor in the awaiting chair. As Ken tied her up she didn’t ask questions, didn’t plead, she just waited. Frost put the duct tape over her mouth once Ken was done. He and Ken shared a look that pretty much said ‘she just might make it after all’. With purpose he left the room to inform the boss of the doctor’s arrival. 

Upstairs the Joker stalked up to Harley. He stood so close she could feel his breathe on her lips "Doll, you have made Daddy very...very...very..." One hand wrapped around her throat, squeezing just enough to feel his power. Harley prepared herself for a fight. She’d wanted this baby way before she saw it in the vision. Shit, she’d wanted this baby since she became his. The Joker had taught her to kill, fight, steal, scheme and plot for what she wanted, and she wanted this so bad she could taste it. She didn't know what kind of mother she'd be or even if she could be one but she'd be damned if she gave up another opportunity to try. "Happy" her eyes snapped to his "Oh Puddin' you mean it I can keep it" Her face beaming as she watched his metallic grin spread across his face. "Of course baby, you know I’d do anything for you “He said in a deep gravelly voice that electrified her libido. Giggling wildly, she launched herself at him wrapping her legs around his waist, knocking him back on the cool purple sheets of their love nest.

*-*

Within seconds he changed their positions and had her on her back spread eagle. “Do you want it?" He asked, watching her beneath him. "Come on, Puddin' don't make me beg!" Harley whined while trying her best to grind her center into his. He grabbed her jaw roughly "Answer me," he said with just the right hint of menace on his voice. "You know I do..." she said lifting forward and licking his lips. He latched on to her tongue and kissed her deeply, aggressively, and possessively. His hand gripped her jaw so hard, she knew his finger prints would be bruised on her ivory white skin for days. He kissed, licked and nipped down her neck with the grace of a snake. Using just enough pain to make her gasp but even more pleasure to make her wet. "Daddy please... play with me…please?" She moaned as he continued to carry out his sweet torture on a writhing Harley. "Now, now, good things come to those who wait" He said with a smirk "Since when?! " she snapped back tossing her head back in exasperation. With ease he snapped the shoulder strap of one side of the nighty she had on. Between his teeth he grabbed her nipple, made more sensitive he realized by the fetus growing inside her, and bit down hard, very hard, in reprimand. With a gasp her eyes, again, snapped to his. He caught the momentary anger that flashed in her eyes "Careful," he said in warning as he bit down this time on the sensitive skin of her neck.

She might be bad but he was bigger, harder, badder and meaner than her and he never failed in taking joy and care to remind her of that. "What shall we have tonight... hmm?" He said casually ripping the nighty off of her. "Raspberry? Lemon lime? Grape perhaps?". Her toothy smile returned "Vanilla! " she enthused with childlike joy. His browless brow furrowed as he quickly processed her request. " Ah yes, Vanilla " he said dipping his tongue in her belly button making her squirm, “Maybe for a while... precious cargo and everything". He cackled at his little joke as he made his way further down. He bit into her soft thigh, right over the tattooed words ‘Puddin’. He heard her gasp again and smiled. Spreading her legs even wider, he rubbed his hands up and down her legs, from foot to hip. “So you want to give me an heir?” He asked staring at her unblinkingly. Enthusiastically she nodded her head several times “Yep, our own little Looney Tune,”. He slid his hand to the apex of her thighs but didn’t attempt to touch her more than that. He watched her face, eyes closed biting her lip, waiting. “Please Mistah J” _That’s my cue_. He bent down to where his hand rested “My Toy” he growled and Harley giggled in delight. She loved when he called her his. Especially with his wide shoulders parting her thighs keeping them open wide for his explorations. He licked all around making sure to avoid the place he knew she wanted him to lick most. He added first one finger and then another to her moist entrance. “So wet, always so eager Dr. Quinzel,” he said taunting her with her former name even as the pace at which his fingers teased her increased. “Always for you Puddin’,” she said on a loud moan. Finally, he nipped at her pearl. Sucking and teasing and licking, he worked her into a giggling moaning mess. His name was like a mantra on her lips in between moans and giggles. A few more well placed sucks and licks had Harley almost at the point of orgasm. Then he stopped. But, before she could protest he returned even more vigorously than before causing her to crash hard into her release. “Ahh Baby, come for daddy” he said sitting back to admire her climax. She came back down from her high with his tattooed fingers still moving inside of her. ‘Thank you Puddin’” She said face beaming up at him “Oh dear little Harley don’t thank me yet, the funs just beginning. Time to take center stage doll” He laughed as he laid back on his back so she could straddle him. His jester was as hard as her goodnight bat. It easily impaled Harley as she settled down over his length. In no time at all she found her rhythm. Joker rubbed his hands up and down her hips before his hands came around to relax on her ass while she rode him. She leaned over him and rested her hands on his strong shoulders letting out a contented giggle. He smacked the flesh hard where his hand rested and her giggled turned in to a laugh. While her breast bounced past his face with her sensual up and down movements he took the opportunity to catch her nipple in his mouth.

*-*

Frost was perplexed. He could hear the sounds of the couple where he stood in the hall outside of their door but he didn’t know whether or not to knock. This situation was extremely tricky. If he knocked and ruined the moment The Joker might kill him, not to mention if he saw something he shouldn’t, he would definitely kill him, but if he didn’t and waited until they finished, his hour would be up and The Joker would again, kill him. So he did the only logical thing that made sense in this whole sordid mess. He called Ken “Do we have anyone in the lower ranks that hasn’t been pulling his weight?”  “I heard Skullman complain about one of the guys, I think the boss named him ‘Dead Head’? Said he wasn’t cutting it. Need me to get him?” Frost sifted through his memory to try and put a face to the name. The boss had this thing about giving the lower ranks weird nicknames and making them wear ridiculous costumes when they worked.  The upper ranks were spared from the theatrics. Why, he didn’t know but he was definitely thankful for it. “Yea, send him up”. Under normal occasions the lower ranks would never be allowed inside the mansion. They normally resided at the warehouse, but with breaking Harley out of Belle Reve, the boss had stepped up security. He even had added more men he poached from other street crews to thicken the ranks as fodder really. A few minutes later, Dead Head was walking up the stairs “You wanted to see me Boss?” He asked, his speech slurred and he smelled of liquor. Being under the influence while on duty was a huge no, no. You can’t do your job if you can’t aim straight. Frost thought to himself “I need you to go in there and tell the boss, the Doc is here.” “The doc? Is the boss okay?” Dead Head asked. He had earned that name because, honestly, he just wasn’t that bright, but to hear him tell it, he’s so good a shot he leaves them dead in the head.  “Don’t ask questions, just rely the message. Eyes down, in and out. Got it?” Dead Head nodded and Frost gestured towards the door. _Poor guy, doesn’t have the sense God gave paste_. He thought to himself as he watched him open the door. “Hey Boss, Frost said The Doc is here, whatever the hell that means. I hope you’re okay,” There was no response. He was doing well until he lifted his head out of curiosity to peak and saw Harley riding the boss. _Damn, she’s prettier than I remembered_ , He thought to himself. Lost in the moment and thinking about what he was going to do with this image later, he never saw the knife Joker hurled at his head. His body hit the open door before it landed on the ground with a thud. “We’ll be down in a minute” He knew Frost would be just outside the door. The man was never _that_ far away unless he had sent him on an errand or got sick of him under foot. Frost turned to leave.

 “Oh and Frosty?” Jonny turned back to the door,

“Yea Boss?” He hesitated just outside the threshold, out of sight.

 “Smart man”

*-*

“Hurry it up sweet cheeks, we’ve got company” Harley had never stopped riding. The death of Dead Head hadn’t even broken her stride. “Forget it, I’ll do it myself” The Joker snapped as he flipped her on her back and started to drill in to her. His fast pace raced them both towards completion so fast Harley barely had time to register she was on her back before she felt her orgasm cresting over her. He collapsed in to her placing a rough possessive kiss on her lips. “Get dressed.” He said when they finally parted.

*-*

As they made their way down the stairs, they heard thunder boom as lightening lit up the inside of the mansion. “Perfect!” The Joker laughed disturbing the quiet. Beside him, Harley giggled. She never let her man laugh alone. When they made it to the props room, Frost opened the door for the boss and his lady. “Well, Hello Doctor, how nice of you to join us on this fine terrible evening!” The Doctor’s eyes landed on the strange couple. Everyone who’s anyone in Gotham had heard about The Joker. She could only guess that the blonde beside him was Harley Quinn. For some reason she looked vaguely familiar. _Preposterous_ , Pamela thought, _I’ve never seen this woman in my life. If I had, as strange as she looks I would definitely remember her._ “So! in case Frosty here hadn’t told ya, we are in need of your services. Ya see, my snookums and I recently found out we’ll be adding to our little madhouse and well your gonna see to it that everything runs smoothly,” He said in his dramatic flair giving her his biggest brightest metal tooth smile. ‘Mnhmshanm” Was all that could be understood through the duct tape on the doctor’s mouth. “Speak up sweetie pie, we can’t understand ya” Harley said and sauntered over and ripped the duct tape off her lips. With a groan of pain, the doctor repeated herself. She knew the question was a reckless one, but she had never been one to back down. Plus, she figured they needed her so they wouldn’t so hastily discard her. At least that’s what she hoped. “I said, what if I say no?”

“Aww sweets, ya don’t wanna be my doctor?” Harley said with an exaggerated pout. “Oh, she’ll _be_ your doctor” The Joker said chuckling, knowing that Frost had found a weakness he could exploit. If she didn’t have one, he would have been talking to different doctor that did. Frost handed him a manila file. “So I see your mother works at Arkham Asylum. Didn’t she tell ya about me _Doc_?” he asked getting right in her face taking in her nervous expression, smiling. Like a shark scenting blood. _No, Like a demon,_ she thought. “I’m pretty sure she did, so you should know the answer to your question. Now, I’ve got a question for you. Answering correctly determines my actions and your privileges, okay?”. The doctor warily nodded her head. “Are you and your mother close?” He asked leaning back and slowly walking around her. The woman sat in the corner on top of a huge jack in the box, smiling. The question unnerved her. _How did he find out about my mom? If I lie and say no, he’ll kill my mother. If I tell the truth, he’ll leverage her against me and he might still kill her after the baby’s born. Better a might than a definitive._

 “Uh, Yes, she and I are close.”

“Is there anyone who’ll miss you?” He asked still walking around her.  Of course he already knew the answer, but better safe than sorry.

“J-Just my patients and a few colleagues and residents at the hospital”

He stopped suddenly standing in front of her a purple gloved hand under his chin in a contemplative posture. He didn’t have a shirt on, or shoes. All he wore was sweatpants. _Why only one glove_? Pamela thought to herself as she shakily returned his steely gaze. She had been cool as stone until the Joker actually walked in the room. Her mom had told her about this man. She had said that his eyes just held this power that let you know whatever you did to him, he had allowed it. She said he had this way of making you feel that the world was his stage and you were just a puppet in his play. He stared at her, making her feel like he could see her very soul. “Frosty ole boy, did you bring it?” He asked the man standing next to him. He reached in to a black duffle bag, she just noticed was on the floor and handed him a weird gun contraption. “Okay Dr. this is going to hurt. _A lot_.” He said with a maniacal grin as he placed the gun on her neck and pulled the trigger.

“Check it” he said to Ken, for the first time acknowledging he was in the room. “The Nano is in place boss” “Excellent! This was a gift from Dr. Van Criss the last time I stopped by his lab. You do anything that remotely looks like you’re going to leave before my lady has her baby, I’ll blow this” He said tapping on her temple suddenly very serious.” And don’t worry, we’ll be bringing your mom here, so she will be getting this extra special gift too.” He said looking at Ken. Ken nodded knowing he’d be visiting the doctor’s mom the moment this meeting was over. “Now boys release these ropes! That’s no way to treat a lady! I must say I need to teach you guys a lesson in manners!” “Yea Mistah J, maybe ya should send ‘em to etiquette classes,” Harley smiled as she hoped down of the box and sashayed over to The Joker. She wrapped her arms around his waist, loving the feel of his abs against her hand, she slid it down until she reached the top of his sweatpants. Before she could sneak her hand inside, He stopped her. “Later” He looked back at her with an icy glare. She just smirked at him and waited for him to continue. “Doctor, write out a list of everything you’ll need, so the boys can go shopping. Keep in mind you’ll be here for a while!” He laughed and dragged Harley from the room.

“What excuse would keep anyone from looking for you, or, your mother?” Ken asked leveling a heavy stare at the doctor. At 6’5, two-hundred and twenty pounds, he was a very intimidating man. Add in the tattoos and well, you get the picture. “Normally, around this time of year, I head out of town with my mom to commemorate the death of my father.” The doctor answered in a quiet voice. That was the reason she had been off tonight. She was preparing for her trip. Ken just nodded and set about removing the ropes. “Don’t run. If you want to live, just do what your told, shut up and don’t get comfortable.” Frost advised her, handing her back her medical bag “I’ll show you to the room you’ll be staying in.”


	2. “It was ringing, then all of a sudden it wasn’t”

Once Frost got the doc settled in her room, he headed down to his office, hopefully for the last time tonight. _Man I'm beat_ , he thought opening the door. The boss was an insomniac so naturally he expected his men to be too. For that reason alone, he was thankful Harley was back. The boss semi-distracted meant he could sleep a little and the last few months had been some of the best sleep in his life. Again, Ken was sitting in the chair across from his desk. "Like Deja vu" Ken chuckled as Frost flopped down in his seat. "What a night, _what a night_. What are we gonna do?" Ken said as Frost pinched the bridge of his nose. "First, her mother. Place the Nano then bring her here. Put her in the room next to the Doc.” Before Ken stepped out of the door he turned back to Frost, “You know her excuse isn’t gonna last _that long._ We’re gonna have to think of something for her _and_ her mother eventually” Frost knew what Ken was thinking. Though the mother was good for leverage, she was also an added complication. He hadn’t foreseen the boss actually wanting both the doctor and mother kidnapped but, he should have. Hopefully he wouldn’t end up regretting his failing. “We’ll work out the rest after we catch some Z's". With a nod, Ken left to complete his task and Frost went to his bedroom suite attached to his office.

Later that morning, the upper ranks, which consisted of five guys including Frost and Ken, met in the boss’s office. Unlike frost, the Joker’s office was chaotic, but there seemed to be order in the madness. No one ever cleaned it even though he had three maids who regularly cleaned this place, even when they weren’t here. He still remembered the mess he had to clean up when the boss caught one of the last maids attempting to straighten up in here. Woman never even had a chance.  “Well, hello fellas! Whatcha got for me today?” The Joker walked in, smile in place, instantly commanding the room. His energy alone made even the coldest killers unsure of themselves in his presence. Today he was dressed in a crisp white shirt with most of the buttons undone, gun holster, and dress slacks and flashy gold dress shoes. “We have the list the doctor wrote up last night for all the stuff she’ll need” Butch said placing the paper with a list scrawled in the doctor’s handwriting in front of him. Bright and early this morning, Frost had briefed the guys on what was up and they had immediately begun scoping out places to go “shopping” with the aid of her list.  “Ummhmm, ummhmm, Good, good. And?” He asked glancing around the room slight smirk on his face, then glanced at the list. “We should be able to have everything she needs within the next few days,” Ernie said. Everyone in the room held their breaths. They didn’t know whether or not his impatience would get the best of him. If it did, there could be several different outcomes all concluding in them dying. Frost randomly thought back to the club incident. They had gone to one of his clubs during the time Harley had been away and they were attempting to find her. The Joker was grieving but pretending not to be. The moment he walked in, he instantly started killing people “You die and you die you all die!!!!” After killing about twenty patrons single handedly, he commanded the few that weren’t dead, to continue partying. For hours he made different demands on those left. One woman he commanded to do shots mixed with blood out of her deceased friend’s belly button. He commanded a man to dance with one of the corpses and kiss it. “Give her a lil’ kiss,” He’d said “C’mon, she won’t bite!” Then he’d broken out in a fit of laughter as the man fearfully complied. The rest was enough to give even him nightmares. It finally came to an end when the goons outside got in to a shootout with local police while the body guards and the boss escaped through a secret exit. In this business, everybody was expendable.

Brought to the here and now by the sound of something hard hitting the table, Frost’s eyes immediately snapped to the boss. It was the Joker’s fist slamming in to the table that was the source of what he’d heard.   “Okay boys! Let’s get to work!”.

*-*

That night they were ready to begin tackling the list.

"Why can't I go? " Harley asked stomping her foot. She was two seconds away from throwing a temper tantrum. "Because I said so" the Joker said dressing for the occasion, grabbing his cane and coat. He had been keeping an uncharacteristically low profile since he rescued his leading lady but tonight, that was about to change. He had the list the doc wrote up so now it was time to do his brand of shopping. And although it wasn't a leisurely mission of destruction, they still might have a little fun. "But I wanna go... please, pretty, pretty, please Mist-" " Look" he interrupted her while grabbing both of her hands in his. He wanted to break them but, he didn't give in to the impulse, _this time_. "Cupcake just do as I say. You want the jelly for your belly right?" she nodded "you want the stethoscope and all the fixin's right?" Again she nodded "Well, doll face, I’ve gotta go get it. " "but why can't _I_ come?  That’s the part I ain't gettin' " she said taking her hands from his and crossing her arms over her chest.  "Vanilla remember? "

Then he was gone.


	3. “Now you have two choices the first one is excellent and the one I prefer. What’s the second choice? I forgot.”

"Mom, I'm here " Pamela said to herself sitting on her bed. She knew her mom was across the hall because she had heard her when one of the Joker's henchmen had put her in there. She didn't know if she was allowed to see her and talk to her, the guy who took her never told her what the boundaries were. It was late about one in the morning and she heard ruckus coming from the main floor. Quietly, she snuck to her door and opened it. She saw the Joker and his men leaving. Seeing this as an unexpected opportunity, she went to her mother's door and knocked softly. "Yes?" came her mother's quiet but muffled response. "It’s me, mom. I'm coming in" Pamela said opening the door as gently as she could. She didn't know if all his men had gone and she didn't know the consequences of them speaking. "Oh Pammy are you OK? " her mother rushed to her as she closed the door giving her a concerned once over. "I'm okay, are you alright? " "Under the circumstances, I'm fine. Do you know what's going on, why we're here? The only thing that thug told me was that he was taking me to my daughter. Why are we here? " She asked hoping to make sense of all this. "From what I was told by, um," she hesitated unsure of what to call him, "Mr. Joker, I'm here to help with Harley Quinn's pregnancy and delivery and your leverage to make sure I do so." Her mother’s face fell as she collapsed on the bed. "The Joker, oh my god, we're in the home of the Joker" being a nurse at Arkham, Gloria Eley, had heard much about the Joker. She'd never personally had any interactions with the lunatic, but the stories she'd heard gave her night terrors. "Wait you talked to him? Did he do anything to you, are you sure you’re okay? " Gloria said jackknifing off the bed to examine her daughter again. " Yes, I talked to him and I'm OK" she said as Gloria enveloped her in a tight hug. " Mom, I'm so sorry" the stress of the situation finally broke over her. "Oh sweetheart this isn't your fault " "Yes, it is, he asked were we close. I almost lied and said no but, I knew if I did he'd kill you!" She cried even harder on her mother’s shoulder. "You did the right thing honey. At least with both of us here, our chances are better. We’ll get through this together. " "Did you get injected in the neck with something? " Pamela asked pushing gently out of her mother’s embrace as she wiped away her tears. "Yes, did you?" " Yes, he said it was a Nano, some kind of explosive. If we don't do what they want they'll blow our heads off." "Wow" was all her mother could say. Soon silence fell between the two of them as they sat on the bed.

*-*

Harley was bored, like _really_ bored. She walked around the mansion unsure of what to do. Mistah J had made her stay here but, without him, there was nothing to hold her interest. She’d tried reading her 'smut' as he called it but then she'd start thinking about him and then remember he wasn't there for her to play with. She’d get mad break something, fuss with her voices, then she'd be right back to being bored.

"But I could go find him..." _No he said Vanilla remember_

                                                                                                                                                  _He's letting you keep it, why make him angry_

Y _ou remember what happened last time._

"Yea but that was a mistake, he didn't even know ". He had gotten mad at her, she couldn't remember why, in his anger he'd pushed her down the stairs on his way to one of his clubs. She’d been going to tell him then that she might be pregnant but, she'd loss that baby because of the fall. Butch had taken her to "the doctor " and he'd confirmed her miscarriage, patched her up and sent her home. By the time the Joker was back, all was well. "He doesn't even know that happened "                         

_Are you sure he didn't know?_

_Why risk it?_

_You know you’re not going to be a good mother_ _anyway_  

_You might as well get rid of it now_

_Save the trouble of him doing it for you_ _later_

_Remember normal is just a dryer setting_

" Ugh shut up, shut up shut up!!!" Harley screamed swinging her bat and breaking the glass bowl in the middle of the dining room table. The voices were always worse when she was alone, or, happy. They’d been just as bad when she’d been at Belle Reve, but she hadn’t been happy then so they’d been more like company, someone to talk to. She didn't know how Mistah J had learned to tune them out. Every once in a while, when they were alone, he'd bat around his head as if there was a fly annoying him or bang his head against a wall but, other than that, they didn't seem to bother him. "It's all about control, which you don't have and never will" he'd told her when she'd asked about it. She had control sometimes, just not like him. _Duh, he controls everything silly!_  "I miss my Puddin' "


	4. “Ya’ know what? I have absolutely no idea…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for sticking with me this far! This story is still developing in my mind, so bear with me. Please, if you've been reading all along, go back to the beginning and read again because I've made some tweaks. If this is your first time, lucky you :-)  
> Enjoy!

_What the fuck happened here_? Frost thought as he opened the mansion door for the boss. Harley sat in the middle of the foyer floor, cross legged, rocking back and forth. All the little fancy shit that was in here was smashed and he could only guess what the rest of the place looked like. Joker was looking around and finally his eyes landed on her. “What? I was alone and bored.” She said with an innocent expression on her face. All the men were waiting for his reaction. He just smirked and walked from the room with Harley trailing behind him. “Alright, lets dump this stuff. Ernie, get some of the boys in here to clean all this up. The maids won’t be able to do it by themselves.”

“So whadja bring me?” Harley said once they reached the bedroom. “What makes you think I brought you something?” Her smile fell and she pouted. He went about undressing paying her no attention. “You mean it? You _really_ didn’t bring me anything?” He ignored her “Get undressed” He sat in the armchair in their room, with nothing on but his slacks and socks, waiting to watch her. “I don’t wanna. You didn’t bring me a treat, so why should I give you one.” She made the mistake of turning her back on him.  She felt him come up behind her, heard him growl in her ear before she felt his hand reach around and cup her lady parts. All she had on was one of his dress shirts and panties. "This is mine. Whenever and however I want. I do with you what I want when I want. I own you. You don't tell me _no_ " then she felt the tip of his knife as he slid it underneath the shirt. “Plus, you broke my stuff so you gotta pay for it.” When she heard the sound of fabric ripping, a chill ran through her. "Take it off," he snapped the waist band of her panties and the elastic stung as it hit her skin. "And these too" She loved playing these cat and mouse games with him. It was always a 50/50 chance she could get a kiss or a punch but, for him, she'd always risk it.

Seductively she undressed. Removing the scraps of his shirt and her panties as he commanded. Smile on her face, she sauntered past him to the bathroom. “Ya comin’, Mistah J?” He smiled and chased her to the shower.

*-*

When she woke the next morning she was alone as she so often was. J used his mornings for planning and his nights for execution. Normally, she would be down with the rest of his henchmen in his office hearing her part of an upcoming scheme, but since she got knocked up he was strictly enforcing the _vanilla rule_. “It’s sweet, he wants to protect us my little Tasmanian devil,”

 _More like protect his legacy, you’re just the incubator_.

Harley rolled her eyes and went to take a shower. When she’d finished getting dressed she went to her exercise room. It was right across from his office. She still couldn’t believe he’d actually gone out and bought a mansion. He’d told her about his deal with Maxie Zeus for _chuckles._ She remembered when he’d first heard about M.Z. selling his Joker venom cut with ecstasy, he’d been furious. Now he was partnering with him to distribute it. Her Puddin' was always finding ways to turn a bad situation around. He’d also filled her in on how he’d hired a hacker and drained the finances of a very wealthy businessman. Everything done in away nobody suspected it was him. Between his clubs and arms dealing plus the newly acquired income, she now got to live in luxury no longer going from dilapidated hide out to dilapidated hide out. Of course they always tricked out where ever they stayed, but now she got to have her own and she was starting to like it. As she walked by she opened the door to sneak a peek at him. He was listening as Frost shared whatever details he had learned. Feeling her eyes on him, he turned around. She winked at him and blew him a kiss. With a smile he pretended to catch it and put it in his pocket. With a happy squeal she closed the door and walked in to her exercise room to begin her workout. Her favorite exercise was Aerial Silk Dance and Joker had gotten green silk fabric hung from the ceiling so she could workout. Every time she looked at it she thought of him.

Their relationship had fallen into a familiar groove. Her time at Belle Reve hadn’t interrupted that. Of course they still fought and of course, he still got “rough” with her, but Harley could handle herself now. When things were good, like now, they were great. When things were bad, they painted the town red, but that was okay as long as she was by his side. Through the good, bad and the funny. Laughing at the world in disgust. She’d fought hard to be by his side, she’d fought hard to be everything he needed her to be.  Many didn’t understand them, but they worked together, they clicked. There were still times he made her cry, but now as often as he backhanded her and hurt her, he kissed her and hugged her. She wasn’t always the one trying to initiate a roll in the hay, he seemed to need to be with her as much as she needed him. He had even told her one time that he cared about her.

_Yea but he also tried to kill you_

_Several times_

_And he said he hated having those feelings_

 “Shut up, he only said that because those feelings remind him of that woman, his dead wife. But that bitch is _dead_ and Mistah J is all mine. And this baby will give him back what he lost,” Harley answered as she climbed sinuously up the fabric.

_How do you know that she was even real?_

_He doesn’t even remember his own past_

_Multiple choice_

_He tried to kill those other babies remember…_

“Yea, but they weren’t his.” She said coming to the ground gracefully and rubbing her slight bump. Before she took the tests, she had just thought she was gaining weight. Mr. J had been making her eat since he busted her out. He said she’d gotten so thin she was wasting away. “Besides that, was the commissioner’s fault”

_That’s his side of the story_

_You always make excuses for him, you’re so pathetic!_

“I’m not pathetic, Mistah J loves me! Ya know what fuck you, _fuck you_!” Picking up the gun that was never too far from her, she aimed it at the wall of mirrors and shot several shots at her reflection. A few seconds later the Joker, flanked by Frost and Ernie, came rushing in to the room to find Harley rubbing her head with her fist and the gun’s nozzle. Joker walked up to her and placed his hands on her shoulders, giving her a measured expression. She lowered her hands and looked up at him with tears in her eyes. He touched her temple with his thumb, still evaluating her. She closed her eyes in relief. Recently, the voices had started getting worse and she didn’t understand why. Opening her eyes, she gave a sad giggle. “I forgot the music to drown them out” she said as she rested her head on his chest. Softly, he patted her head, “The doctor is ready for you.”


	5. “Sometimes I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Yea I do, I’m Awesome!”

“Hiya doc! I heard you were ready for us! " Harley said in greeting to the doctor. Her earlier episode all but forgotten. "Hello Miss Quinn, please have a seat on the chair. " Pamela was so nervous her knees were knocking but she was instinctively trying to hide it. Somehow she figured showing fear would expedite her death. Her mother, who was acting as her nurse, quietly placed her hand on her arm in a soothing gesture. _I guess all those years as an Arkham nurse helped her perfect her mask of serenity._ And she knew that's exactly what it was, a mask, because Gloria was afraid too. Harley's sharp eyes caught the quick gesture. "Aww don't be scared of lil ole me! I won't bite!" Harley said as she gracefully hopped up on the examination chair. "Ain't my Puddin' so sweet getting all this stuff for me and our little sweetems!" "Yes ma'am " Pamela said as she readied everything she needed and her nerve. She didn’t have everything yet, but she had enough stuff to complete the initial examination. "Ma'am! Do I look old! I'm not that old! Call me Harley, Oooo is that the jelly stuff u gotta put on my belly? " she said watching the doctor roll the cart with her supplies over. "Yes ma- I mean Harley" "Cool! OK doc I'm ready whenever you are! " Harley said leaning back on the table lifting her shirt. For the first time the doctor actually looked at her and saw she was covered in purple bruises. Pamela gasped "Are you OK?" "Why? What's wrong?" Harley turned questioning eyes towards the doctor. Pamela noticed her other hand was sliding towards her gun that she just noticed was under her leg on the examination table. "I just mean, um, the um, bruises... you're covered in them!" "Oh! these! Hahahahahaha! Yea, my Puddin' can be a little rough!". She smiled saucily at the doctor, "Don't worry, _these_ are just hickey's and hand prints and maybe a few love nips. His bark’s worse than his bite" she laughed loudly "Really? " Gloria spoke for the first time. Quickly Harley's humor turned deadly serious "No... his bite is much, much, worse.” For the first time Pamela and Gloria saw the intelligent woman underneath all the childish charm and sex appeal. “Let's get started shall we." She might act ditzy and absent minded but she truly wasn't. "O-ok, " Pamela just hoped she could get through this without screwing up. Harley smiled like a Cheshire cat as Pamela’s trembling gloved hand spread the ultrasound gel on her abdomen.

*-*

The doctor tried to get enough health background from this crazy woman as she could.  By the end of the appointment she was frustrated from being afraid that every little thing she did was going to get her killed and trying unsuccessfully to finagle enough info from Harley to help her monitor her pregnancy. When Harley finally left Pamela let out a huge sigh of relief "I'm glad that's over" she said to her mother who was unwinding in a chair rubbing her eyes. The ultrasound showed a so far healthy baby. It was too early to determine the sex but, she was able to estimate her due date and for now she guessed that was enough. "I hope he’ll get her those prenatal vitamins. I wrote them on the list with everything else." She had to give the Joker his credit. He had basically transformed one of these storage rooms down here into a workable obstetrician’s office. When she'd given them her list, she hadn't expected them to get so much so fast or of this high quality. They heard the door open and the man she now knew as Frost, stepped in. He had brought them down here this morning after the henchmen had set everything up for Harley's "appointment". "Let's go." He led them through a series of halls that finally led to the stairs. Once out of the basement, Frost directed them to an office in an extreme state of disarray. Someone sat in a huge office chair with the back turned.  Guessing by the green hair peeking over the top, she knew who it was. He finally turned to face them once they were seated. " OK ladies, out of the graciousness of my heart, I'm gonna let ya go. " Confused expressions fell over their faces " Aww don’t look so distraught.  There are rules to this game." He said standing and pacing in front of them." First rule no tattling or _kaboom!._..second rule, I need you, you're here got it? Or _kaboom!_ and last rule the _most_ important rule," he said standing behind Pamela wrapping her pony tail around his fist and jerking her head back sharply. "No telling anyone about Harley being knocked up or I'll do more than simply blow your head off. When I'm finished a little detonation to the cranium will be a relief." He snapped, suddenly releasing and pushing her head forward so fast she fell face first out of the chair. "Same goes for you, mother dear, and if either of you think I'm joking, " he smiled _the smile_ as he watched Gloria help Pamela off the floor. Both were watching him warily.  "Try me" then he let out a laugh that would haunt them till the grave. "Frosty show them out. Ba-bye ladies, until we meet again" They were dismissed with a flash of a metal tooth smile... once they were out of his o8ffice, escorted by Frost to the awaiting suburban, Pamela stopped the big man by the arm "I'll need to be back in a month to do her second prenatal appointment. She needs to start a prenatal vitamin regime ASAP. I put the best brand on the list and she needs to stay off any psychiatric medications she may be taking." She said, quickly snapping into her professional persona. “Also she needs to get plenty of rest,drink water and eat more to get her weight up”. Like it or not Harley Quinn was her patient and that baby deserved the best care she could give it. Her very life and the life of her mother, depended on success. Frost gave a tight nod but didn't speak any further.  He dropped them off at Pamela's house with a parting warning "Follow the rules and stay available. He'll be watching."

*-*

 As he pulled away Frost contemplated the best men to put on babysitting detail for the doc and her mom. The boss wanted twenty-four-hour supervision to ensure they followed all of his rules. Unlike him the boss always seemed to be fifteen steps ahead of everybody. He'd already known the doc's excuse wouldn't work. When they'd had their morning meeting he'd laid it all out for them. He'd send the doc home and keep an eye on her until she was needed again to keep anyone, namely you know who, from getting suspicious. For now, he wanted to keep all of this under wraps. He didn’t want someone finding Harley and taking her back to Belle Reves, or, trying to hurt her and make her lose the baby. That’s why for now she wasn’t allowed out of the house, especially without him. Now, all Frost needed to do was supply the man power to get it done. For the time being, Ernie and Ken were watching the doc and her mom, but the boss said he'd need them elsewhere so Frost had to find men to take their place that could be trusted.

*-*

 “How was it?” the Joker asked as Harley jumped up on his desk. Now he was alone in his office working on one of his various projects. “She said that I can't get busy for four weeks.” Joker’s mouth dropped open in complete shock, which didn't happen often,  “Gotcha Mistah J!” Harley couldn’t keep a straight face any more and grinned at him like an idiot.  He narrowed his eyes and she immediately stopped laughing. “Aww, c'mon Puddin',it was just a joke.” She said slipping off the desk into his lap. "I thought you liked 'em" He looked at her rather forbidding then, “Gotcha!” he said, and smirked. She wrapped her arms around his neck as they shared a laugh. “Whatcha workin’ on?” She asked, casting a quick glance behind her at his sketches. “Nothing for you to worry about. Let’s go to bed, Daddy’s hungry” He said lifting her and carrying her to the bedroom. Once there, he let her slide seductively down his body. "Strip" he demanded. When she was naked, he gestured towards the bed for her to lay down. Once she complied, he stood back admiring her. His marks of possession still hadn't faded from her skin. "Open your legs for me " he said removing his own clothes. He crawled up the bed to where she waited for him, open and waiting, when he'd finished. "Wider,  yea that's it" Sliding his hands from her feet to her hips he savored the feel of her creamy smooth skin. He kept going until they were chest to chest. Staring down into her eyes as he weaved his fingers into her  hair, holding her firmly in place . He kissed her, hard, punishingly while she clung on to his muscular arms. One hand made it's way to her entrance, finding her hot and pliable. “See how wet you are for me" he said removing his hand and letting the light catch her juices. "Open your mouth. Good girl" he said pushing his Harley drenched fingers in her mouth. "See how you taste? Suck baby " she softly sucked her juices from his hand.  As she did his thumb caressed her cheek  "My Harley, so beautiful" He pulled his fingers from her mouth and licked them. "Nothing like a little cream to finish the day off right" he quipped and she giggled. This time he didn't make her beg. He suddenly rammed himself inside of her. Setting a slow, but hard pace, he thrust in and out of her. She climaxed first screaming his name. He followed her and with one last deep growl, he spilled his seed in her.  She felt his weight when he collapsed on top of her but she loved the feel of him surrounding her. _Squished to death by Mistah J, I'll take it_. He nuzzled in to her neck content to sleep buried deep inside of her. She softly kissed the side of his face. She loved how affectionate he was during and after sex. It was moments like these that kept her coming back through all the hurt and pain. The world always saw him laugh but she's the only person that got to see him cry. "If you ever leave me, I’ll kill you" he lifted his head so he could stare into her eyes. Yea she’d left him many times over the years, but she always came back and he knew she would and always let her, but She believed wholeheartedly that if she ever left him, like really left him, he would do as he said. A chill ran through her as she gazed into his eyes, _will you live for me_? It was him or death. And Harley wouldn't have it any other way.

 

 


	6. "What's worse, lookin' jealous or crazy? Or like being walked all over lately I'd rather be crazy" -Beyonce

Things between them had gone from blissfully great to ferociously horrible with no stops in between. As her stomach grew he was gone more and more. Each time he came home he smelled of cheap perfume. His shirts would have glitter, lip stick and sometimes, actually more often than not, blood. It wasn't the lip stick and the perfume that cut her to the quick, even though seeing and smelling them hurt pretty fucking bad, no what hurt her the most was the blood. It meant he was playing with out her and that drove her crazier. 

How dare he go and commit heinous acts against humanity while forcing her to play the prisoner in their love nest.

Every day he would leave a pill and a glass of orange juice on the night stand with a note that read 'Take me - Mr.J' and every day, when she first woke, she obediently took it then went down stairs to eat the meal that awaited her in the dinning room. All alone in this house with just her and her voices. Sometimes she read to them, other times she sang to them, but always she talked to them. "Mistah J doesn't want me anymore because I'm fat."

_Your pregnant Harley there's a difference_

"Yea I know that, but well you've seen his shirts he leaves on the bathroom floor. He's out there having all of this fun while I'm locked up in here with nothing to do. He wouldn't even let the doctor stay sos I could have someone to play with."

_You need the doctor Harley you can't play with her_

"You don't know how not to break your toys " came a familiar voice from behind her. "Puddin!" She exclaimed as she pushed out of the chair as fast as her pregnant body would allow. "I'm bored, play with me!" She said waddling over to the Joker.  He took in her extended belly and tired eyes. She wasn't sleeping as much as she should because he was hardly ever home and she never slept well with out him. "Harley, pumpkin, I'm not in the mood" he'd only stopped in to check on her, there was something bigger that had his attention these days. He had something in the works but he wasn't speaking on it until all the pieces of his magnificent insidious plan were in place. Two of those puzzle pieces were standing in front of him and the big one was getting on his nerves. "Cmon Mistah J, I'm bored!" Harley said holding on to the lapels of his blazer trying to bring him down for a kiss. Exasperated he tried to extract himself from her clutches. "Not now! Damn it!" He said roughly pushing her back. Tears threatened to fall but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction. "Ugh! I'm sick of this _stupid_ vanilla rule!" Then she gave him her biggest megawatt smile "But fine. If you won't play with me, maybe I'll go find someone who will. I'll give Two-face a call, he's probably double the fun in the sack!" she giggled and turned as if to do exactly like she threatened. "Okay You wanna play Muffin, then let's play!" she hadn't expected the hard punch to the back of the head, but by now she should have. She didn't faint but she did fall from the force. He caught her before her body connected with the floor. Turning her to face him, he punched her again, this time she felt the crunch of her nose breaking and blood streaming down her face. Before he could land another punch, she pulled her gun out and aimed it at his head.

 

 

She remembered the first time she pulled a gun on him at the beginning of their twistedly beautiful relationship. He had kicked, punched, and beat her with a bat for a solid week. He claimed it was to toughen her up. She was starving from being denied food and cold from sleeping on the concrete warehouse floor. She was black and blue and at her wits end. She stood there, gun aimed at his heart. She'd never actually shot anyone before, but she'd gone to the shooting range. She was confident she knew what she was doing. "Well if you're gonna do it sweetness, get it over with. I've got shit to do. " he smirked at her. _This asshole doesn't think I'll do it._ _He thinks- wai_ t!  _oh fuck, what am I doing?_ He snapped his fingers in front of her distracted face. "Hello! _Heelllloooo_!!!! Paging Doctor Quinzel!!  We both know you're not gonna do it. Put the gun down! " Harley didn't move. She loved him, she didn't wanna kill him, but he had to stop torturing her like this. "If you won't do it, I'll do it myself " with lightning speed, he snatched the gun from her hand and turned it on _her_. Without warning, he let off several shots, then stepped back to admire his handy work.  She was cowering on the ground, hands over her ears. "No hesitation Harley"

_Hmm...Fun times._ "Hit me again, Clown and I'll shoot you" Harley sighed, her resolve weary, but clear. "Whadda ya gonna do? Um? You gonna kill me Harley Baby?" "Nope that'd be too easy" she smiled at him as she turned the gun on herself, placing it at her temple. "If you wanna die, dear, I'd be more than happy to accommodate you. No need for you to trouble yourself, My Queen" "Yea, you're right. If I wanted to take myself out, no better way than death by Puddin' huh?" Then she turned the gun on her stomach, their unborn child. He's eyes trained on the barrel of the gun so close to _his legacy_. One mistake, one wrong move, could end it all. The Joker started laughing first and as always Harley giggled after him, but the gun never wavered. Still laughing, he left.  Caressing her burgeoning belly "Looks like daddy wants you after all my beautiful little _Leviathan_." Harley cooed.


	7. “To do this you have to make it beautiful. If you make it ugly, people won’t like it”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, once again thanks for sticking with me. We're getting close to the wrap up of part one. Let me know what you think about the story in the comments! A lot of research has gone in to this work, I hope it's appreciated ! :-)

“Hands up doc, you know the drill." Said the goon that had come to collect her for another appointment with Harley. Frost was following her instructions to the letter. Since the initial appointment she had returned twice. Both months on the same day the two goons, the joker's eyes and ears that had been watching her since her release, would make their presences known by escorting her back to the circus of horrors. Blessedly, her mother was left out of it so her immediate safety was no longer in jeopardy. But she was still being watched. And the Nano bomb was still in place. With a sigh Pamela complied. "Please don't forget my med bag" she said as he finished binding her wrist and put the cover over her head.

*-*

She could tell when Harley walked in things were not well. On her face and arms were fresh bruises only a few hours old and her nose looked as if it had been broken recently. Pamela tried not to stare but she failed miserably. Usually Harley was all smiles. She wanted to ask what had happened but was wisely too afraid to.

"What the fuckity fuck are you oglin' Doc?" Pamela was snapped out of her observation of the lady clown when Harley's voice cracked like a whip through the air. "I, um, um, nothing " came her timid reply. Harley's hand wrapped around the doctor's throat as she forced her body hard against the wall. Pinned with this pregnant crazy woman blocking her airway and escape, Pamela clawed at her hand. " Don’t piss on me and tell me it’s raining, toots. What? You think I look like some kinda freak?! A monster?!" Then Harley's mood changed in an instant. She smoothed the doctor’s hair back that had gotten ruffled in their little spat. "You're right! I _am_ ugly, sweetie, inside and _now_ outside. Compliments of my Puddin'. _Damaged_ just like him. " Harley answered herself as she straightened the doctor up and stepped back. With grace Pamela had never seen from a woman six months pregnant, Harley pranced to the examination chair and took a seat.

As the doctor got started, Harley appeared to be relaxing in wait. The minutes ticked by in silence. Pamela jumped when Harley's voice suddenly broke the quiet "Ya know, I've gotta friend named Pamela... I calls her Red" Harley's smile returned dreamily. "On accounta ha long pretty red hair.” She sighed affectionately. “My Red’s not in town right now, but I wish she was sos I could have some company. I miss her so much…" she said with a little sniffle. "I don't even have Bud and Lou to keep me occupied since _somebody_ stole my babies before the B-man threw me in the slammer." Her hands clenched in to tight fist at that last statement and Pamela flinched. “Yep for now its just me and Joker Jr...or, pint sized Harley? Hey Doc can you tell me what I’m having?” Harley questioned the still frighten, but functioning doctor. “Ye-yes, I can hopefully.” It all depend on whether or not she could see the baby’s genitals on the ultrasound. _Hopefully the little tyke will cooperate so I can get out of here._ Pamela thought. “ _Hopefully_? Can ya or can’t ya?” Harley’s raised voice terrified the already on edge doctor. “Yes I can”  _Please, don’t make me a liar_ , she begged the unborn baby while rubbing the ultrasound gel on Harley’s stomach.

*-*

 _A girl…A girl… I’m having a mini me!!!_ Harley thought as she spun around her walk in closet. She was determined she was going to  celebrate with or without the Joker. She hadn't seen him since their little lover's quarrel the night before, but as always the pill and juice were dutifully left on her nightstand when she woke this afternoon.  She rummaged through all the racks of clothing Mr. J had gotten for her. After trying on two of her favorites she let out a loud whine. “Nothing fits!” she shouted into the empty closet while kicking the mound of unwearable clothing at her feet. “Rocco!!!!” she bellowed for the henchmen that was assigned to stick close to her. He’d been with them almost as long as Frosty. To her, they were like family.

That is, until they screwed up.

“Yea, Harley?” he said slightly out of breath. Clearly he hadn’t been as close as she thought. “Grab the keys” she said swishing past Rocco in one of joker’s green button down dress shirts and a pair of Arkham sweatpants she found in the back of his closet. “First up, I’m goin’ shoppin’ cause I’m goin’ out and _Mama needs some new clothes_!” “And then?” he asked following her down to the garage. He dreaded this catch twenty two. She wasn’t allowed out, but he wasn’t allowed to tell her no. “The night’s still young, Rocky baby. Let’s see where it takes us!” she laughed as she hopped into the big black suburban and lounged in the back seat like royalty.  _I just hope I make it past it alive._ He thought powering up the machine and exiting the safety of the garage.

*-*

Once again she sat in the back of the huge luxury machine with Rocco driving. The excitement of her newly acquired clothing had worn off about two seconds after leaving the store. Terrorizing a few citizens and employees, Harley finally left the store wearing a metallic silver form-fitting mermaid gown that showed off her growing curves, topped off with silver arm jewelry, bracelets, and a diamond choker necklace, plus bags full of irresistible finds. Of course, she didn’t pay for any of it. She had tried that once and it hadn’t worked out so well. She preferred to use the bad guy discount. _Free everything._

The dress felt like a second skin after she made the seamstress an offer she couldn’t refuse to alter it quickly to accommodate her growing belly. This was the first time since being home and finding out about her little love Muffin, she actually felt like her old self. “Rocco, _do it_ “ she leaned forward between the driver and passenger seat to glare at the side of his face. “Harley, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Frost said-“ “ Who cares what he says! Frost ain’t the boss of me. I said do it, so do it _now_!” Harley whined. She had been trying for a full five minutes to get Rocco to call Frost to find out where Mr. J was going to be tonight. She wanted to surprise him, but Rocco wasn’t cooperating  

“Harley I wasn’t even ‘posed to take you out. Can’t we just go back to the big house, relax until he gets home? That ain’t too much to ask, is it?” Before he could react Harley had a knife pressed against the artery in his neck, “Make the call or I make the cut. What’s a few pints of blood bled out between friends, _hmm_?” Rocco maneuvered the phone out of his suit jacket pocket while still managing to drive. “Good boy!” she purred and reclined back in the seat once she was assured he was making the call. _Should've led with the knife_ , she thought.

*-*

When she took the stage at Penguins _Iceburg Lounge_ , she heard the audible gasp at her appearance. She knew they knew who she was which meant they knew _whose_ she was. No one had seen her since the ill-fated ‘date night’ so no one knew about her present condition. The spotlight focused on her as she took center stage. She wasn’t the greatest singer, but she could handle her own. For the moment though, she wasn’t concerned with that. She was here to catch the attention of her Puddin’ by any means necessary. Dazzling the crowd with a warm smile, she began her song set to the tune of ‘say that we’re sweethearts again’ without preamble.

“I _never knew_

_That our romance had ended_

_Until you poisoned my food_

_And I thought it was a lark_

_When you kicked me in the park..._

_But now I think it was rude!_

 

 _I_ _never knew_

_That you and I were finished_

_Until that bottle hit my head!_

_And I tried to be aloof when you_

_Pushed me off the roof - I feel our romance is dead._

 

_It wouldn't have been so bad_

_If you had told me_

_That someone had taken my place!_

_But no, no you didn't even scold me!_

_Ya just tried to disfigure my face!_

 

_You'll never know_

_How my poor heart is breaking -  It_ _seems so hopeless but then_

_Life used to be so placid!_

_Won't you please put down that acid?_

_And say that we're sweethearts again!”_

 

Then with a simple laugh Harley started her monologue. She could feel his eyes on her, drilling into her. The light reflected off her dress as she gracefully moved about the stage with animated gestures, captivating the audience.

_“How well I remember_

_T_ _hat night in Bridgeport_

_That was the night you gave me the hotfoot I thought there was sort of a strange look in your eyes_

_B_ _ut then you smiled and, well, it made everything all right_

_Then there was the time we went canoein’_

_And you set fire to my dress You said you pushed me overboard to put out the flame_

_But I never quite understood why you held me under water so long....?"_

She turned mock questioning eyes toward the crowd. Drawing attention to her growing belly by rubbing it, Harley turned and finished her monologue.

 

_“Now, I've never met this girl who's taken my place_

_But I wish you all the happiness in the world_

_And if there's anything I can do_

_You know you can always reach me in room number 304_

_At the General Hospital_

_Farewell my sweet!_ Muuuuuaaaah!!!!”

 

With a kiss thrown his way and a flourish, she continued singing her sad little ditty

 

_“You'll never know how my poor heart is breaking -  It looks so hopeless but then,_

_My love can go just so far_

_Won't you please put down that crowbar?_

_And say that we're sweethearts again!”_

 

With a curtsey she exited the stage trailed by the thunderous sound of applause following her performance. She heard his signature laugh cutting through the noise of the crowd. For others it inspired fear, but for her it was high praise. She was nothing if not an entertainer. Backstage was a buzz with activity as the other acts rushed about preparing for their moment in the spotlight. Out of respect for her, people parted as she walked to the dressing room Mr. Penguin had so graciously allowed her to use. Here, people like her were treated like celebrities and less like pariahs of society. Of course, they were still feared, but being a villain meant something here which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Rocco paced back and forth in the dressing room. They both knew he was coming. That was a given the moment he saw her step on stage, maybe even the moment Frost had alerted him Rocco had called. What worried Rocco was what mood he would be in when he got here. “Calm down Rocco” she said to the worried henchmen walking a hole in the floor with his pacing.

 Yep, the Penguin’s little hole in the wall was a place where a bad guy could come after a day of thievery, murdering, and otherwise terrorizing the good citizens of Gotham and kick back, order themselves vodka on the rocks with out being harassed by GCPD or Batsy boy. Harley thought as she sat at the vanity unfazed, fixing her make up in the mirror. She knew this was where he’d be, at his usual table conducting business, or playing poker in the back. Normally he was at one of his clubs. His presence like an aphrodisiac to the patrons who wanted to take a risky walk on the wild side with the notorious clown prince of crime. Her and Rocco had checked them before he finally called with a little friendly persuasion, but she should have just trusted her instincts and come here. To everyone else, the Joker was chaotic, unpredictable, but she knew his habits like the back of her hand. So when he suavely walked in a few minutes later, she was unsurprised.

“Mistah J “she said, watching him behind her through the mirror exuding uncharacteristic aloofness. “Harley” he said coolly. He looked so handsome in his classic purple suit with an orange button up, Joker green tie and trademark yellow venom flower in his lapel. The tattoos on his neck barely hinted at over the top of his collar. “Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked with quiet menace. “I sure am! Did you enjoy my song? I sang it just for you Puddin’” she asked unable to maintain her early aloofness, she stood and sashayed over to him. There was only a brief look of surprise and a little bit of lust that register on his face before he schooled his expression.

She leaned into Joker for a big kiss, but he pulled back. “We’re leaving.” “C’mon, can’t we stay a little longer? Did you hear that applause? I'ma hit!” Joker grabbed her by the arm, and Harley squealed as he dragged her from the club. “Yeah, you are, but one’a these days you’re going to cross the line, Harley.” “Then what?” she asked. Joker laughed. “I dunno. We’ll draw ourselves a new line, and another, and probably cross them, too.” He said as they neared the purple lambo, with Frost and Rocco trailing behind them to the suburban. Suddenly he stopped and Harley almost ran into him. “Are you tired," what a strange question from such a strange man “You look tired, pumpkin" she was not prepared for the blow to the temple. The last thing she heard from him as the blackness of unconsciousness claimed her was “ _Aww_ , cupcake you should rest” he said like a dotting father as he caught her limp body in his strong arms.


	8. "What is sanity, after all, except the control of madness..."- Josephine Winslow Johnson

She woke with a start, knife drawn ready to fight off the dreamlike attackers. It took her a second to recognize that she was in her bed surrounded by Mr. J’s scent. She knew by looking at his side of the bed that he had slept with her last night. Harley felt a kick and reached down and rubbed her belly. “Well good morning to you too baby bird” she cooed. The shinning silver of her dress caught her eye, neatly folded in the purple winged back chair. She looked down and recognized she was completely naked. _Didn’t know necrophilia was his thing. Hmm, just when you think you know a guy,_ she thought reaching over to take her morning pill. Next to the usual ‘take me’ note was another one that read ‘Come to the den’. Quickly Harley dressed and did as the note instructed. When she got there, she saw two big crates sitting in the middle of the floor.

The ‘laughing’ let her know exactly what was inside.

“My Babies!!!!” she screamed excitedly looking around for something to open the crates with. On the coffee table she noticed a crowbar that had a blue bow on it. Quickly she popped the tops and her hyenas sprang out. “Oh my babies! Mommy’s missed you so much!” she cried as they rushed over to her. They began scenting her belly as Harley patted their heads. “Yous guys are gonna be big brothers!” she said kissing their noses. “I take it your happy their back?” The Joker stated taking in the scene from the entryway.  Harley rushed over to him as he opened his arms for the huge hug he knew was coming his way. As usual between the pair, last night was completely forgotten. “Thank you Mistah J” she said peppering his face with kisses.

Over the years he had grown comfortable with her little out burst of affection. But there was only so much he could tolerate.  Setting her aside he grabbed her hand leading her towards the basement stairs. “They are only half the surprise.” He cooed opening the door and leading her down below “Oh goodie! There’s more?” she asked. She’d follow him anywhere. “Yes, my sweet, there most certainly is _more_ ”

*-*

In the middle of the room tied up was a woman and two men. The woman started screeching through her gag the moment they stepped through the door. “Now, now, that’s no way to be. I haven’t even _done_ anything yet!” the Joker crowed as if insulted by the woman’s screams. “Who are they Puddin?” Harley asked from beside him, eyeing the woman speculatively “See, you’ve caused me to be rude" he tusked at the gagged woman. “This is Linda and the attractive man beside her is her husband Tom” he said coming to stand behind Tom with his hands on his shoulders. Frost stood in the corner silently waiting and watching the whole thing. He knew what was next and he pitied them. “See Linda and Tom run a semi legitimate carnival slash zoo. They thought it would be nice to have exotic animals like zebras, a few lions and guess what else?” he smiled at Harley who instantly smiled back “Hyenas” she said like the star pupil she was. “Why yes Harley girl! Hyenas, but not just any Hyenas. They needed a gimmick so they could jack up ticket prices. And do you know what they decided that gimmick was? “Harley shock her head reading him like the convoluted book that only she partly understood. He was grandstanding and didn’t want her to answer. “My dear, sweet, _harlequin._ The gimmick was that these were _my_ Hyenas” He stated flexing his bone white, tattooed fingers on Tom’s shoulders. The room was filled with the scent of urine when Tom pissed his pants. “Quite a looker huh?” Joker mocked stepping back from the pee-infested man. “Pussy” Harley maliciously teased as tears fell down the man’s cheeks. “Now Harley, poor Tom has every right to be scared seeing as tonight might be his last” Then Joker said coming face to face with Tom. He was so close he could see Tom’s eyes dilating in fear. "Hahaha, _might,_ listen to me! I made a joke! Kinda famous for those" he snickered. Sitting back, he glanced at the second man in the room. “Oh chuckles we can’t forget about you! You remember him” Joker said gesturing to a terrified Charles. He had been a guard at Belle Reeves under Griggs' command. “How could I forget” Harley smiled demonically at him. “I figured you wouldn’t.  Griggs gave him up in exchange for a few more months of life.” Joker said going to the huge work table in the corner by Frost. Charles had violated his property. No one did that and lived. Frost had laid all of the things Joker had requested out on the table. “Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight's gonna be a fun night! I can’t wait to show ya some of our favorite ‘toys’. Harley come pick out something to start us off!” there were all manner of torture devices laid out on the table he gestured to. Some were so old they had even been used on her. Others were brand spanking new. She picked up a pair of pliers “Going for a traditional vibe, I see." he said referencing her choice. “Mmhm” she nodded, too focused on where to start to answer animatedly. _The voices_ were quiet in anticipation much like the night she had been fighting to save the very world that hated her. “Traditional is nice” he said picking up a butcher knife. “Some music?” he asked going to the stereo system mounted into the wall. “I think classical is befitting the occasion. You concur?” He asked turning questioning eyes towards Harley. “A fitting music for such a memorable night. Our little princess's first family torture" She said face lighting with a motherly glow as she rubbed her stomach. The Joker glanced down at her stomach with a blank expression. “Yes, hopefully the little lady will be as skilled as her mother in methods of mayhem “he replied hitting the play button. Then Bach filled the air.

*-*

As they worked side by side creating spectacular bloody masterpieces, Harley couldn’t help but think back to one of their first nights of torturous adventure. He had felt he needed to build up her stamina for murder so he’d set up their own personal shooting range with live targets...

They were in one of the abandoned areas of the warehouse. "Straighten your posture Harley" "I am straight. _Mmm,_ Mistah J, you smell good " she said nuzzling his neck while pretending to aim at the target. "Focus " he said roughly turning her head around _"Geez,_ I'm focusing. Why are we even doing this? I know how to shoot" "You're a sloppy shot. I have a rep to maintain, what does it look like you being with me and can't even hit a brick wall? Now shut the fuck up and aim the damn gun" He snapped at her. Harley aimed the gun at the target's head "She's wiggling to much " she whined. These were people who owed him money and/or pissed him off in some way.  He had lined them up, bound and gagged. He even  painted targets on their foreheads for Harley to aim at. "Number 6 will u please be still? Harley Quinn is trying practice. She's a terrible shot, so please forgive her if she misses a few times. What's a few bullet holes among compadres right?" muffled screams polluted the place. That night she'd managed to shoot two in the arm one in the chest and one in the clavicle. she'd kept trying until she could shoot every target in the head the first try. One night he'd surprised her with the intricately carved gun that she still used today.

 _Love/hate, what a physical manifestation of our relationship_ , she thought as she pulled out the gun to end the lovely Miss Linda after hours of finely crafted torture. "No. They deserve _The Joker's midnight special."_ He smiled _the smile_ and chills of delight raced up and down her spine. Frost wheeled the tank filled with the Joker's favorite toxin over to them. Then he left the room. "Okay honey, it's me and you," he said pulling Harley to him "And _her"_ Harley said putting a protective hand on her stomach. "And her" he agreed as he opened the valve. Between the serum Ivy had given her and years of building an immunity to Joker Venom, Harley and her unborn baby stood safely and gleefully beside her Puddin as their three victims died in grotesque laughter. Smiles etched on their faces for eternity. 


	9. “I’m not sick, I’m twisted. Sick makes it sound like there’s a cure”

_Three and a half months later…_

“Oh the pain!!! The pain!!! Rocco get me more meds before I _shoot_ _you_!!” Harley yelled at the henchmen as she laid on the birthing table. “Harley we can’t give you more med’s, you’ve had the max dose allowed “ Pamela said gently from between Harley’s legs as she checked her dilation. Harley had been in labor for the past 10 hours. She was progressing quickly but not quickly enough. “I don’t care! I want _more!_ Is it time to push _yet_ doc?” she said, settling a little as the contraction past. “Not quite yet. Why don’t you try resting a bit between waves” Pamela said soothingly. “Sounds good doc…” Harley said in a listless voice. After all the hell they’d put her through, Pamela still had empathy for this deranged clown woman who was struggling to bring this life into the world. Her mother laid the blanket back over Harley’s nether regions as the door to the room suddenly opened. They were startled by the beautiful red head who strode right up to Harley and kissed her on the forehead. Harley used the little strength she had to turn and look at her visitor.

“Ivy?” she said weakly “What are ya doing here?” she asked elated, but too exhausted to show it. She didn’t even try to figure out how she knew where to find her. “You know I wouldn’t miss something like the birth of your little rose bud” Poison Ivy said in a low sultry voice. “I’m so glad you’re here. I missed you Pamba lamb.” Harley said closing her eyes and sighing as Ivy stroked her forehead. The Joker was off terrorizing Gotham tonight. It sadden Harley of course, but oddly enough it was a good strategy.  With everyone focused on him ,no one would be thinking of targeting Harley while she was vulnerable. Not that _he_ thought of that, it was just an accidental bonus.

“Okay Harley are you ready to push?” The doctor asked an hour later as she and Gloria positioned Harley for delivery. “Been ready doc” she said gripping both Ivy’s and Rocco’s hands. After a few death threats and screams of execution, a healthy baby girl entered the world. “Harley, would you like her to cut the cord?” The doctor asked handing Harley her baby. She took pity on the poor woman since the baby’s father wasn’t here. “Whaddya say Red?” Harley turned amused, but tired eyes towards Ivy. No matter what they were or weren’t Ivy was her friend. Her best friend and that meant something to Harley “I’d be honored to.” Ivy said taking the medical scissors from the doctor and clipping where instructed. Once the deed was done, the doctor gently coaxed the baby from its mother so she could clean the baby up. After everything was done the doctor and her mother stepped out to give them a moment. “Harley I know he’d be angry. Might even kill me, but do you want me to call him?” Rocco asked casting pitiful eyes towards Harley. “No Rocco.”  Harley said with finality. He nodded and walked to the door “Let them go” Harley said referring to the doctor and her mother. Maybe it was hormones or the morphine twisting her already twisted mind, but the doctor had been good to her, to her baby and she didn’t want to see her hurt. He looked at her trying to sense deception. When he didn’t he left the room to gather the tools to do as ordered.

“Sorry to interrupt but the little lady needs to eat. Are you breastfeeding or bottle?” The doctor said stepping back in the room, passing Rocco as he exited. She was unaware she was about to receive her freedom. Harley looked to Ivy for guidance. Ivy just shrugged, she didn’t know anything about babies. “Normally we recommend breastfeeding-“ “I’ll breastfeed” Harley said and the doctor showed her how to get baby to latch on. After a minute of trying the baby finally took to it and began suckling. The doctor did the best she could to fill Harley in on aftercare instructions and what she could expect for the next few days. She didn't know if she was listening, but at least she tried.

“Isn’t she beautiful Red?” Harley asked in aww of the sleeping new born. “She sure is Harls. What’s her name?” Ivy asked. “How about Susanna Harleen Quinzel?” _Harleen? Where have I heard that name before?_ The doctor thought. Then finally she recognized who she was. _It can’t be? Harleen Quinzel is Harley Quinn_? She kept the shocking revelation to herself as she tipped out of the room. She and Harleen had undergrad classes together. They were no where near friends but still... The craziness was a little too close for comfort.

“Susie Q for short.” Harley said stroking the infants head. “Yea, I like that, but how about Susanna _Lucy_ Quinzel , I know how much you love the name Lucy.” Harley nodded at Ivy in acquiescence.

“I’ve gotta go Harls...” Poison Ivy said after a few minutes of gazing at the precious infant. “No! Don’t leave Red I need ya” Harley whined. Without Ivy she felt all alone. “I only came for this, but I’ll be back soon. I promise “ “Pinky promise? “ Harley said holding up her pinky.

 Promises made, Poison Ivy left as quickly and mysteriously as she entered.

*-*

“Harley is letting you go. Go home quickly. Pack as fast as you can and get out of town. Change your name, change your hair color, whatever just don’t let him find you. We’ll both be dead. She can’t protect you from _him”_ Rocco said the moment the doctor rejoined her mother in the hallway. With a quick shock to both of their necks, he permanently disabled their Nano bombs. He led them through the basement to the secret exit. “ If tomorrow morning I find out you’re still here, _I’ll kill you myself, before he kills me_. Now shoo” He said shutting the door on them, silently wishing them godspeed.

*-*

_Two days later..._

Rocco did the best he could to make sure Harley was comfortable. He was surprised that, so far, Harley was actually doing a good job taking care of Susie Q. He figured all those years of taking care of Bud and Lou prepared her a little. For now, she was upstairs sleeping. The boss and everyone else were still gone.

In the kitchen he settled down at the dinning table to eat a sandwich. Just as he bit into it, Butch came around the corner. "Hey man, what are you doing here? Why ain't you with the boss?" Rocco asked. Butch seemed a little nervous. "I just, um, Frost said he didn't need me so I came back. I gotta go. I got something to do"  _Strange,_ he thought _,but this job kinda has that affect on people._   

*-*

That night, Harley woke to the feeling of someone in the room with her. In alarm, she glanced toward the bassinet to find a familiar silhouette. He stood with his back to her and she watched him as he gazed down at their baby. Quietly, Harley looked him over to make sure he wasn’t injured and saw the gun in his hand. There wasn’t a question of whether or not it was loaded. She patiently waited to see what he would do. She saw his hand reach in the crib. For a moment he didn’t move and Harley held her breath. Abruptly he exited the room. Harley quickly got up to check the sleeping infant. Beside the baby’s body in the crib was the Joker’s signature purple gun. He had left it there as a gift to their little bundle of terror.

*-*

After word got out around town, gifts started pouring in to honor the clown royalty's new edition. Some were, overall, genuine in their congratulations. Others were afraid of offending the pair, mainly Joker. After a week or so, Harley was starting to feel back to her old self. The pair went out for a night on the town, leaving the little lady at home. After a few nights of this, Frost arranged for a nanny to be brought in for when Harley wasn't around, or didn't feel like mothering. He had tried to advise the woman not to get attached just take care of the infant in her mother's absences. In the end, he supposed, it was just womanly nature to get attached to an infant they were caring for. This didn't turn out well for her as one would suspect. After a night of mayhem, Harley had come in to the newly furnished nursery to greet her baby girl and found her missing. She had known about the nanny and had begrudgingly accepted her as a necessity, but that didn't mean she actually wanted to _see_ her fulfilling the role of mommy that Harley solely believed was hers. When she opened the door, she saw her little cherub, her baby, her Susie Q, sleeping peacefully beside the nanny as if _she_ was her _mother._ She quietly picked up the infant. Surprising herself that she was able to hold back her inferno of rage as she gently laid her in the crib. With her daughter out of harms way, she roughly woke the nanny drug her down to the props room and went to work. When she finished, Frost was peeling the woman off the walls.

Though the job was perilous as with everything in the Joker's world, the pay was good and the perks were better as long as one could navigate the waters. The newest nanny seemed to understand how to get lost quickly and keep her head down, Frost just hoped she lasted longer than the others; the henchmen were not fit substitutes, hence the reason for the nannies in the first place.

 

 

 

 


	10. "When I was born, I was so surprised, I didn't talk for a year and a half"

It had been a month since the arrival of Susie Q, the new nanny was still alive and was even proving to be a help to Harley. She was cleaning the nursery as Harley sat in the rocking chair singing a lullaby to Susanna. "Mommy has a song for you!" She exclaimed animatedly to the gurgling infant. The infant smiled at her "Oh your smiling! Your Daddy would be so proud! He loves smiles" Harley said giggling. "It's just gas." The nanny said quietly and mostly to herself. "What?!" Harley yelled startling the woman. She had forgotten who she was in the room with. Big mistake. "N-n-nothing, I apologize. I-I'll finish cleaning and leave." The woman stammered hoping she'd live another minute. She had grown up hearing tales about the Joker and had seen from a distance the destruction these two left behind.  She didn't need a front row seat. "Don't. Let. It happen again" Harley said gravely as she returned her gaze to the infant. Beaming down at her, Harley started singing her lullaby.

"Hush little baby, don’t say a world.

Momma’s gonna kill for you the whole damn world.

And if they don’t laugh at our jokes,

Momma’s gonna stab out their goddamn throats.

And if they start to run away,

Momma’s gonna paint the streets with blood.

And once the blood starts to wash off,

Momma’s gonna blow some more heads off.

And if the world still doesn’t laugh,

Momma’s gonna go and poison them.

And once the poison does it’s job,

Momma’s gonna show you you’re legacy.

And if the world still tries to fight,

Momma’s gonna burn their houses down.

_And if you grow up with his smile,_

_Momma’s gonna be so…proud of you….."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

_That night..._

Butch hunkered down in the alley with the infant snuggled in his coat. He was sitting across from the hospital waiting for the right moment to drop off his package. He knew it was a risk, if someone saw him he was a dead man. He thought back to the conversation he’d had with the Dark Knight. In another alley, another night. “Butch, they’ll be horrible for a child. They abuse each other, there’s no telling what they would do to an infant. Tell me where they are so I can rescue the baby before they have a chance to hurt her.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about man. The Joker and Harley Quinn with a kid, no way.” He tried his best to bluff his way out of the situation. He’d been persistent but, Butch was never gonna tell him where the boss was. That morning on duty he’d thought about what he’d said.  Despite his better judgement what the bat said was getting to him. He’d taken the infant during one of his rounds inside, while everyone was sleeping or otherwise occupied and snuck out.

Now here he was, waiting in the alley.

He saw a nurse and doctor about to enter the building. Before he lost his nerve, he pulled the ski mask down over his face held the infant closer and exited the alley. Quickly, he walked up to the nurse and forced her to take the child “Keep her safe” was all he said, then he took off.

 

*-*

 

“Pumpkin, mommy’s got a another song for you! I worked on it all night!” Harley said opening the door to her daughter’s nursey. When she didn’t see her she opened the nanny’s door. _If that bitch has her in her room, I’ll kill her. She’s_ my _daughter!_  “Where’s Susie!” The nanny jumped and almost fell off the bed. “I-I-I put her in her crib. Sh-sh-she’s not there?”  “If she was, why would I be talking to you! What shit ya tryna pull Bitch? You know what I could do to ya? Hmm? Where’s my daughta!!!” She grabbed the lady by the collar of her night gown. “I-I-I don’t know! Miss Harley please! I-I put her in her crib, last time I ch-ch-checked she was there, honest!” Harley pulled the woman by her neck to the crib. “Do you see her?” Harley said moving the sheets around with her other hand. “M-m-maybe she’s with Mr. Joker?” Harley thought for a moment. He’d been gone when she woke up this morning, so it was possible. _Maybe he wanted some daddy daughter time_. _It could happen_. Harley giggled. “Maybe, let’s go find out” Harley said letting go of the woman’s neck and reaching for her hand. Hand in hand they walked to the Joker’s office “Puddin’, Ya there?” no response. She tried to think of where else he would be. _Maybe the work out room?_ So that’s where they checked next. He wasn’t there either. She was starting to lose her patience. Stopping in the foyer with the nervously twitching nanny, she used her cell to call Joker. “Hiya Mistah J! You wouldn’t by any chance have Susie Q would you?” “No. Why?” He asked sounding mildly distracted “I went to her room this morning and she was gone. I thought you mightta wanted to have some daddy daughter time with her”. Her heart was sinking to her toes. “No, you-” was all Harley heard. In the back of her mind, she knew he had probably said something cruel and vile about her intelligence or whatever, but for the moment it didn't matter. _She's gone,_ she thought. 

Then she snapped.

Throwing the phone against the wall, she grabbed the nanny around the neck “Where. Is. My. Daughta!” Harley screamed at her choking her to death. When the life had let her body, she let her slip from her grasp.“She’s _gone…nonononono…she_ can’t be _gone…maybe_ she’s playing hide and seek? Yea, she’s playing hide and seek and wants mommy to find her!”

_Don’t be stupid you know she’s not old enough for that_

_That woman stole our Susie Q_

“That _Bitch!”_ Harley screamed and starting kicking and beating the woman’s dead body. “You stole my baby! You stole _my baby!”_ she screamed over and over as she kicked her repeatedly. She beat at the corpse until she was exhausted. Tears streaming down her face she collapsed on the floor. “I’ve gotta tell him” _If you do he’ll probably kill you_

_You lost his legacy, his heir_

“I know, but he’ll find her, he’ll find my Susie Q and everything will be okay again,”

Seeing her phone on the floor, she reached for it. The screen was cracked and really messed up but, she could still use it. With shaking fingers, she texted J.

**_Harley_** \- Susie Q is gone

**_J_** \- What do u mean she’s gone?

**_Harley_** \- She’s not with me or you. She’s gone Puddin’

**_J_** \- I’m on my way

 

_Daddy will make it right..._

***Epilogue***

When the Joker and his men walked in Harley was using the deceased nanny as her pillow while she sang a lullaby. “and when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all,” When she looked up and saw him standing there, she ran too him. She expected death and if that’s what came, she was okay with that. She had lost all sense of self preservation the day she became _his,_ but she needed his arms around her at least _one last time_. He didn’t back hand her, he didn’t shoot her. Just like that night he found her sitting in much the same position after she wrecked the main floor, he opened his arms and wrapped her in a hug. “Our baby’s gone” She said gripping the lapels of his sliver blazer. He rubbed her hands where they were on his jacket, then he wiped her tears away. “Frost, find her” Frost nodded then he and the men went to the Joker’s office to get to work, leaving the couple alone in the foyer.

He rested his forehead on hers. Eyes closed. She felt his hands tighten on hers. “Whadda ya gonna do?” She whispered. He cocked his head to the side as he lifted his head and stared at her. For a moment he glanced over her shoulder at the dead nanny, then looked back at her. “I’m gonna find her, then find who took her” Then he smiled _the smile_ and Harley smiled right back. Laughing together their most hate filled maniacal laugh the two went in to his office to begin to plan the return of their little looney tune. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! We have come to the end of part one of this series. I'm not sure when I'll start part two, but I hope you've enjoyed the story so far. I tried to use as much cannon as I could, to make it consistent and believable. As always, tell me what you think in the comments (just do me a favor and remember I have feelings too) I'll be posting some links to some sites I used as research so you all can have a better idea of where I was coming from. See ya later!! :-)


	11. "Everybody loves him, but nobody knows him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here are some links to some of the sites I used as research as well as fanfics I think some of you may enjoy. Let me know what you thought of the first installation in this series. Creative (polite) criticism is permitted, but I prefer the opinion of those who have seen the movie, as well as watched BTAS and read the comics. Let's have a discussion!

https://www.tumblr.com/search/jared%20leto!joker%20imagine

 

http://thenarcissistinyourlife.com/sociopathic-narcissists-harm-their-children-3/

http://harley-quinn.com/jokerharley/

http://buffycomics.hellmouthcentral.com/harley/html/chronology.html

http://lovedatjoker.livejournal.com/2625.html

http://lovedatjoker.livejournal.com/15327.html

http://lovedatjoker.livejournal.com/

https://en.m.wikiversity.org/wiki/Living_With_a_Narcissist

https://m.fanfiction.net/u/1190632/?a=s&s=0&cid=50&p=2

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12143633/1/

**Enjoy!!**


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